Without trying to paraphrase her, she said that one of the thing that she learned was that the children in the Kids Program led different lives from what she lived.  And by extension, that all of us lead.

And that is one of the hardest things for Community Ministries volunteers to learn – that the kids in our program lead very different lives from what we have led, even those of us who come from very different cultures.  And the problem isn’t that it is really a different culture, as much as it is a broken culture. Because there is a big difference between the traditional african-american culture with it’s emphasis on the family and the inner city black culture which features the family in the abstract but which is mostly about isolation and being taken advantage of.  It is not a healthy culture and has very little to do with the traditional African American cultural values.  But it is what most of the kids in our program live with on a daily basis.

We in the mainstream middle class world have a particular way of looking at things.  We tend to think of this way as the ‘right’ way and that may very well be true.  But that doesn’t mean that other people don’t think differently about things, or that they are necessarily wrong.  But it is important for us to always remember that not everyone is exactly like us, and that God loves them just as much as he loves us.

Helping our kids find their way to a healthy culture is an important part of what we do in the Community Ministries program, and one that we hope you will keep in mind.

My name is So-heon Park. I was an intern at Trinity in the spring of 2010 and I am a volunteer for kid’s club since this fall. I would like to share some of my great experiences at Trinity Community Ministries Program. When I first started working at Trinity, I had goals to learn about poverty and to gain an understanding of low-income families. I tried to help kids and be a role model so that they can have a positive and successful future. However, I feel I have learned more from kids than what I have given.

I learned how kids live different lives compare to my life. Some girls are afraid of reading by their window at home, because they are scared of getting shot. When I was leading a Bible study group on one of Thursday nights, I was looking for a boy in my group. A girl in my group said, “Don’t worry. He will come back because he left his cookie and drink here.” When I asked kids what the thing they were most thankful for, they say that “I am thankful to have my family and to be alive.” Most kids have experiences of losing their family members because of gun shooting or gang related activities. It is just heartbreaking. I learned the meaning of money, food, friend, and family can be different for people in different income level. I think it is very important to learn, understand, and accept the reality that there are these kids who have different lives in our neighborhoods. The most important thing is to brainstorm how to help and serve these kids because we are one family in Jesus Christ and we have capabilities and resources to love them. I think Trinity is doing what we are called to do: loving kids and serving them.

Trinity taught me how much I have in my life, and as I serve these kids, I learned love goes in two ways, not in one way. When I love and care about them, I see small changes from kids. They would not speak to me or say hi in the beginning. However, as we spend time together and build trust, they try to remember my name, say hi, and tell funny stories at school. The best part is getting a huge hug as greeting. I would be burnt out if I think I am just serving them and giving my time. However, I actually feel very happy to be with kids and whenever I see their big smile, I do not feel tired at all. This is a sign of getting loved by them.

Trinity provides great activities and programs for kids. Not only kids learn living skills and have fun at Trinity, but also staff members and volunteers learn how to love while they try to make Trinity a safe place.

“We use September to get all of our leaders trained,” notes Donna Shirey, CM’s Director and Teen Coordinator.  ”This year we have a lot of new leaders so it was more important than ever to have time to get them in the flow.”

Training for new leaders is a two pronged attack; getting everyone familiar with the details of how Community Ministries works, and also providing some practical guidance in terms of what the program is trying to accomplish and the proper frame of mind for approaching things.

Signup’s went off without a hitch as kids came in, happy that the program was starting again.  And then the second week in October it began.  And suddenly everything seemed natural again.  Kids of all ages filing into the building, laughing and looking to see who else was there.

Right now it seems like a long time until April but the weeks and months will speed right by.  As those days go by our kids will be growing and developing.  And it is our prayer that Community Ministries will have a major impact on that growth and development.

“I played a role of 17-year-old girl in a family. My family had mom, dad, and a younger brother who was 15 years old. I was a honor student in high school and I  was looking forward to going to college. Dad had lost his job, and we had about $1300 to pay for morgage, utilities, and food, etc. But we only had $250 on our saving account. I immediately got a job at Burger Queen and worked 15 hours a week. Even though dad, brother, and I worked, we ended up being evicted. We could plan it out somehow, so we could get our house back, but still we didn’t have shelter for days. As a 17-year-old girl, I had to give up many things. I didn’t have time or money to hang out with friends or even with family. Family was driven by money and everyone was busy figuring out how we are going to survive. There was no family quality time or no time for talking about my future plan (college). I could feel myself wearing out.”

Those of us who are in the middle class tend to think that we can work our way through anything.  Finesse the system, figure out a plan, go from where we are to where we want to be.  It’s just a matter of will, of intelligence.  But is that true?  Or is it possible that you can get so far down that you can’t possibly get back up without serious help?

” Several of us were very shocked at how quickly we thought of trying to steal other family’s money so we could get groceries or pay rent. A few of us actually did steal money that was left at “home” while the family was away running errands. One of the questions asked of us was how many of you were still as honest at the beginning as by the end, and I think most people couldn’t say that they were.”

There is no excuse for bad behavior, not if you are rich and not if you are poor.  But your financial situation does influence your behavior.  It influences what you consider as acceptable behavior.

“I was a 15-year-old boy in a family with a sister and my mom and dad. My dad just lost a good job, my mom wasn’t working, and like many Americans we had very little savings, which expired quickly. We needed to pay our mortgage, buy groceries, pay off loans, and pay utilities. We also needed to make doctors appointments, fill out the absurdly difficult form for unemployment benefits, apply for jobs, go to school, and negotiate with the bank. Like in real life, the days were too short and there was too much to do. I’m fairly competent financially, and I’d like to think that I have at least a few street smarts. I failed miserably. What’s more, I know that I’d fail miserably in real life too.”

Poverty is the single biggest problem that America faces today, not because it is a burden on every public budget out there, but because of the life that it forces on the children who are born into that situation and are therefore often condemned to remain there.

“I’ve known for a while that poverty isn’t merely a financial state, but actually a state of being. I know that it truly encompasses every aspect of one’s life, forcing its way into each arena of existence. When I was asked to participate in ACCESS West Michigan’s Poverty Simulation, I assumed that this pervasiveness would be the focus. It wasn’t, and I’m glad. Instead of taking a theoretical approach to poverty and what it means, ACCESS dares to do something much more difficult. In three hours, they make poverty real. They bring each person into poverty and force you to live in circumstances out of your control.”

There is no simple answer to poverty.  It’s not as simple as just giving people money.  But maybe the most important piece is to give people hope; hope that their future can be different from their present, and hope that others will be there to help them on their journey.

“ Poverty breeds poverty, unless someone steps in. Thankfully, that’s how ACCESS ended the simulation, with the hope that someone would step up, and step in. There’s simply no way out unless regular people take a note from Christ’s Book and pull others up by their bootstraps. It truly is up to us.”

I’ll start by ignoring the half full mentality here but I do have to admit the facts are correct.  If you consider summer to be June 1 to Labor Day then we are about half done with it.  Actually more than half done.  Even though it is still hot and humid outside, the average daily temperature has crested (83 degrees) and is now starting to slowly decline.

And the five week Trinity Community Ministries program is nearing the end of it’s fourth week.

It has been a busy summer  so far.   With activities three days a week from noon until into the evening, the kids have covered a lot of ground.  Most obvious are the outings that have been scheduled; a trip to Grand Haven State Park, a picnic at church with games, a night of roasting hot dogs and marshmallows at Camp Optimist, bowling, an evening of acrobatics at Gymco, and others.

But the day to day activities have been what keep the kids coming back.   This includes things like healthy cooking classes sponsored by the Y, Tuesday afternoon cycling around Reeds Lake, impromptu games of football, tennis lessons from one of our summer interns, and much more.

And, lest we forget, the educational element.  The Reading Buddies program matches up adults with kids for an hour of reading each week.  Books are mutually selected and it’s one way that Community Ministries fights SLL (Summer Learning Loss).

So, summer may be going by, but there is still plenty going on at the Community Ministries program.  Check it out. 

For many of us, graduation, especially from high school, and even from some level of college is almost an expected thing.  It’s not a surprise when we get there and there is more of a feeling of anticipation, of looking ahead than satisfaction over what is behind.

But for many of the students in the Community Ministries program high school graduation is a very big deal, and college graduation is almost a dream.  They may be the first person in their family to graduate.  But beyond that, they may have faced actual opposition from their families.  ”Why are you trying to graduate?”  ”Are you trying to be better than us?”   To persevere in the face of opposition or disinterest from those closest to you is one of the hardest battle to fight, but that is what many of our kids have to do.

And some don’t win the battle.  But others do, and they become our graduates: Eric, Marion, Dante , Adiana, and Beatris (High School), Marion (GED), and Yata and Barb (College).  Congratulations and well done to all!

Community Ministries is about many things; learning life skills, being successful at school, getting along with others, etc.  But maybe  the bottom line is that CM is about family, the families that we have, and other ‘families’ that we become a part of.  It’s those families who help us become who we eventually are.  And at CM, we are very thankful that we get to be a part of that process.

With a mammoth indoor pool, a very tall climbing wall, and two floors of exercise equipment, the Kroc Center is a perfect place to go while it is still too cold and rainy outside to get into outdoor activities.

It only takes a couple of hours of our time, but to our kids it represents much more than that.  They have no access to the many fitness clubs that are in the area and so a trip to one for an evening of swimming and fun is a special treat.   And special treats is one of the things that makes Kids Club special.  Yes, it is a place where there are planned activities and codes of conduct that have to be followed, but it is also a spot where kids can just have fun and be themselves.

It starts on April 19 with the Teen Club outing at Camp O’Malley in Alto.  Our primary destination is the ropes course, but there should be plenty of other things to keep the Teens busy and all we are hoping for is good weather.

And then, with hardly a breathe, on Wednesday, April 20, the Kids Club is headed to the Salvation Army’s brand new Kroc Center in Grand Rapids for a night of games and exercise that will hopefully tire them out before we have to drive everyone home.

And the final event is our Celebration Dinner for both Teens and Kids.  Catered by Yesterdog and open to both the kids and their parents, it is always the final event of our season, sending everyone out with full tummies and good memories of the year gone by.

And that’s it – until early July – when our summer session opens.  Seems like a long time but to the leaders who need to do the planning it is almost here already.   Soooo, have you given any thought to what you are doing this summer?  We have programming both during the day and during the evening and while some of our winter leaders rest we always need new people to share themselves with the kids.   It’s a great way to get involved and we do have a good time during the summer, so give it some thought.  For more information, call Donna at Trinity UMC (456-7168) or email her at d.shirey@grtumc.org.

So Tuesday night we had to finally confiscate the phones of our middle school girls.  We have a solid policy that cell phones can’t be used while at Trinity but sometimes it doesn’t work out.  And so, last Tuesday, as a group of the girls continued to text each other in an inflamatory manner, the decision was made that we would have to confiscate the phones.  And they remained confiscated until the girls were dropped off at their homes.

On Wednesday, one of the elementary school boys, a boy who is, shall we say, behaviorally challenged was warned after hitting another boy on the back of the head that one more physical action by him would result in him being kicked out.  And, about 20 minutes later, right in front of the leader who had warned him, he tackled another boy taking him down to the floor.  And so the leader was caught.  Everyone at our program deserves to be safe, and actions do have consequences, and the boy was told he would have to leave.

Not every night at Community Ministries sends the volunteers home feeling good.  But yet they continue to come back, night after night, week after week.  Because in the end, it isn’t about feeling good.  It’s about setting boundaries, about helping young people learn right from wrong, and showing them that there are consequences for their actions.  And those are lessons well worth learning.